What can change after marriage, and how to keep the connection vivid and maintain the love?
It is a fact that human relationships is not an easy task. Different worlds come into contact, and every effort must be made to have a common line and connect people's lives smoothly. Things become even more demanding when the people in a relationship share even more intense feelings such as love and affection. When this level is reached, situations get fragile and it is easy to break those feelings. In order to secure those feelings and take care of them, people feel the need to take their relationship to another level.
Summary of contents
- What does marriage mean?
- What can change after marriage?
- How to stay happily in love after marriage?
- In conclusion
What does marriage mean?
Marriage is a formal ceremony that essentially unites a couple and builds the ground for a new beginning. Love and companionship come to replace butterflies in stomach syndrome. This new beginning is often full of excitement and optimism in the atmosphere of celebration and the upcoming change that exists. The couple can feel that they are entering greater security and even greater guarantee; coexistence by itself is just enough and ideal.
However, life after the wedding can develop a little differently than what the couple expects. It can take a bad shape, or it can seem like the dream is falling apart. Quarrels and thoughts about whether the marriage was the right decision and desire can become part of everyday life. The person may feel that they are not worthy of love anymore. Marriage under certain circumstances can bring resuscitation to the relationship and damage the magic material that kept the relationship alive before the wedding. It looks like the ceremony changed the relationship of love and devotion.
We all know at least one case of a couple in love who got married and then divorced because the flame of passion went out. Divorce, of course, is not the only indication that a couple is unhappy with their marriage and has lost the connection; a couple can stay together and married, and co-exist by habit in a common environment without enjoying lively their relationship.
This article suggests some ways to keep the flame solid and alive. These suggestions are addressed to those already in a marriage relationship and people thinking about it in the near future. Some preventive tips would be helpful!
What can change after marriage?
Friction is more frequent
The first major thing that changes after marriage is the degree of contact between you and your partner. From where you lived in different places or even lived together somehow, now a new chapter opens for you—looking for a new place to stay and start your lives together. Daily contact is a given, especially bearing in mind that the bedroom, a crucial area of withdrawal and personal relaxation, is now a common space.
The friction between the couple is inevitably increased, a fact that (if there are no breaks in between) can bring tensions and conflicts in the familiar environment. The boundaries between respect and private and personal space violation are thin when frequent contact. This violation can be a feeling that the person in a relationship finds challenging to express and get used to because they don't realize or admit how such a thing can have a harmful effect.
You are left in the hands of love
After the wedding, the security provided and understood can often create a rest climate. This means that, in a way, the people in a relationship are left and forget to claim their partner. They may take the situation and the person for granted and stop trying to express their love. This can make the other person in a relationship feel rejected and perceive the other's lack of effort as indifference. Thus, the bond can easily be loosened slowly, and the couple forgets the original reasons for reaching where it is.
Communal decisions are a part of the relationship
Another thing that changes after marriage is that the couple should start making joint decisions. These decisions can relate to practical issues, such as things to do at home, accounts, etc., and theoretical problems, such as the desired ways of daily cohabitation. Given that these joint decisions exist, there must be a balance between the couple and reciprocal concessions. Join discussions on issues that become more frequent and presuppose key features of the conversation approach.
Everyday life absorbs you
It is worth noting that life can become very fast after marriage, and there is no extra time for your partner. Obligations increase and everyday life become a response to chores. Financial arrangements, long work hours, and running-related house issues may not leave room for quality time with your partner. Especially in the case that a married couple also has children, the daily burden becomes even more complex. It creates a connection between the erotic relationship and the essential communication of the couple. Even if there is a desire for contact, fatigue accumulates at the end of the day is challenging to overcome.
Despite the changes in a married couple's life, there are ways to rekindle the relationship and maintain the bond before it manages to break down.
How to stay happily in love after marriage?
The basis for human connection and interaction is communication. In some cases, the communication between two people happens to be so compatible that the chemistry is created immediately, and no further effort is needed. But the truth is that communication between people takes work most of the time. There is always room for improvement as long as there is a mood for it.
Many couples wait for their partner to guess what concerns them and approach on their own as if they can smell from afar what is tormenting them or automatically imagine their needs and desires. If you want to keep your marriage thriving, learn to express yourself to your partner and communicate what you need.
If you never try to discuss these things that are going on in your mind with your partner, there will be a cycle of situations and emotions; you will have expectations from your partner, you will not get what you want, and you will end up disappointed in something, which has much easier and more honest. There is no need for passive-aggressive attitudes, just an expression of your authentic self.
From the most significant concern to the deepest desire and joy, remember that it becomes half and double, respectively, when it is shared.
2. Don't rush it
It would help if you were careful and patient when the honeymoon begins. Usually, there is a rush to put life in order after the wedding. You and your partner come into contact with a mindset of running and applying these patterns around how a married couple should have sex. Having children as soon as possible could be one of them. In the long run, these sudden movements can bring you feelings of incompleteness and remorse, as you will feel that he has not enjoyed the first vital moments.
To avoid these feelings, it is recommended that you take your time with your partner and enjoy each stage of the marriage. As long as love and affection, everything will take its course, one will follow the other. It is a new phase for you. Take it slowly.
3. Do things together
Another essential thing to keep in mind is staying close to your relationship's roots. By spending time together and doing everyday activities whenever possible, remember the things that unite you and make you fall in love.
It would be good to start a common hobby and find your new common passion. Sharing this shared experience will bind you more and more and will make you talk for hours and share thoughts about an object that both of you are interested in. You can often learn new things about your partner through these everyday activities that did not cross your mind before. So there is a constant acquaintance that keeps the interest warm and does not bring boring situations to the fore.
4. But also...spend time separately!
As crucial as spending time together, it is as important to do separate things during the day. Taking gaps from daily contact and following different paths and activities during the day creates exactly that excitement you need.
When you are apart, the desire to see each other increases and the moment you finally meet becomes even more unique and intense. Imagine starting your day at work, followed by personal pursuits and hobbies. Not only will the joy when you meet be great, but you will get to the point of trying to steal some time between them to see each other and exchange even a sweet conversation and hug.
This proposal is addressed based on everyday life and can also apply for more extended and more abstract periods. For example, an excellent idea would be to arrange a separate summer vacation for a while. This break will intensify the feelings of love and affection and more! You will have so many memories to share that you will talk about for hours.
5. Don't neglect your friends and family
It is necessary to preserve many pieces of premarital life. Yes, marriage means change and new life, but that does not mean that you have to put aside what you had before. Your close friends, your family visits should stay in your life.
It is beneficial to have other essential personalities in your life with whom you share equal bonds of love and devotion. In this way, you have many sources of receiving and offering love, and you do not cling to your partner. Both you and your friends and relatives need more than just bonding and a break from home. If you also feel that your partner is burdened with obligations in a certain period, you allow sharing your concerns with other people and not keep things inside you.
6. Create boundaries
Limits are a keyword for those looking for ways to maintain self-esteem and not engage in things that do not satisfy you. By setting limits, you clarify your position, announce who you are and what you want, and keep your peace of mind.
Boundaries can be set between you and your partner can be communicated in a gentle and relaxed conversation, simply clarifying your needs and stamina. The way you refer to your boundaries is significant and is everything for a fruitful discussion. For example, if your partner wants to help him in something that seems like a mountain to you in the present phase of your life, you can comfortably communicate your limits and say that you can't take it. Your tone does not need to be offensive or full of nerves. You can simply politely announce your limits. Thus, you do not need to pretend that you are in a position for something, nor to push and exceed the maximum that you can offer in the present moment.
7. Learn to forgive
Sharing life together with the partner you married does not mean a life without mistakes. Interaction between people always has bad phases, and of course, many misunderstandings and unwanted things can occur.
The essence of maintaining a relationship is to overcome things and forgive. Forgiveness is a mutual and personal affair. It would be best to learn to forgive both your partner and yourself. You will face many challenges in your life together, and you may even get to the point of thinking about separation. It's not wrong to constantly try and try to improve your relationship.
No one knew in advance how to behave and manage specific situations. Mistakes are essential life lessons, and only through them can we go one step further. Learn to move on from your negative experiences and never stop working on your relationship. The bond exists, but it takes struggle in both ways to thrive.
8. Don't lose interest in things that are important to you
It would help if you did not forget who you are when you are with another person. Your interests, hobbies, goals, and dreams are things that should continue to exist in your head and your life after marriage and not be erased once and for all. You do not need to delay those steps to achieve a goal, nor change dreams because of your new environment if you do not feel it. It is essential to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself, and why not start new things that you think might make you feel closer to your authentic self.
By keeping your internal core stable and not losing the elements that makeup who you are, you manage to be 100% in your interaction with the other. If you do not get along well, it will not be easy to share yourself with another person.
9. Be supportive
Love and affection can take many forms in everyday life. The support and acceptance you can offer your partner are essential to keeping your bond alive.
Declaring to your partner that you are always by his side and that he can share with you any worries makes your bond even stronger and sets safe bases between you. Support can be expressed without words, with a simple hug, a kiss, or a look that confirms to the other that you care and are there for him. Even acts of care, such as a meal after a hard day or you taking care of the house cleaning, can be very helpful for any phase of difficulty your partner is going through.
Let your partner understand that you will not judge any of his personal choices or intervene. Your role should be limited to simple advice and suggestions and not imposing personal views and approaches. If you accept your partner as he is with his choices, he will surely reciprocate.
10. Bring sex back
Another element you should focus on staying alive in your relationship after you get married is the sexual part of the relationship. Sex and physical interaction have the power of renewal and bonding. Do not be afraid to approach your partner and show that you claim to be bound through physical play. Sexual energy and mood intensify creativity and brings new stimuli to the couple. Everything can be a connecting point for you and your partner, from experiencing new things during sex to reviving "tried and tested" ways of sexual intercourse that tended to satisfy you before marriage.
11. Limit social media
An additional suggestion to ensure a balanced relationship after marriage is to limit the time we spend daily on social media. Social media is a massive part of our lives nowadays! We are exposed to countless stimuli daily through them, and they have affected the way we communicate with those around us.
We tend to spend hours on our cell phones, even in our free time, where we could do much better things with our partners. Excessive use of various online media distracts us from real life and, in a way, absorbs all our energy so that there is no excess appetite and mood to deal with our relationship.
It is helpful to use social media more consciously and prioritize the company that our partner can keep us and not the technological media. After all, close contact is much more accurate. And even if you find it difficult to limit them, you could, for example, while on breaks from work, send sweet messages via the Internet to your partner, expressing your impatience to see each other and discuss what to do when you go to school.
12. Keep on dating
Do not forget the importance of keeping on dating each other. This means that you continue to flirt with each other (even in public), go out on a date, express romance inside you, and show each other how much you are in love. A creative gift of love that you made yourself, a dinner at your favorite place, or even the simplest, to go out for a drink! Many things can help to keep that flame in the relationship after marriage. Doing something like that will make you constantly feel that ''it-is-like-we-just-met'' feeling and keep the sparkles flying!
13. Never compare your relationship with others
Last but not least, remember: do not compare your special relationship with others! Surely you will know, and you will have in your circle enough people in the respective phase of marriage like you. You may have some of them as role models and try to adapt your wedding to them, or you may be impatient because you feel that 'things are missing' from him. Remember, however, that every relationship is unique, and every couple has their way of connecting and existing. Another method can be convenient and adapt to your connection as a couple, another to another couple, and so on. As unique as the individualities associated with marriage, the couple themselves is special.
Marriage is certainly not an easy task. It's a brand new chapter in your life, and the most logical thing to do is not to know exactly how to move after marriage. It is equally logical to be frightened by the thoughts of a dead-end or that this marriage is in danger of ending. You need to trust your partner and build comfort to communicate things, and keep the above suggestions in the back of your mind. Of course, if these solutions do not prove to be enough and the problems within the marriage become more intense, it would be good to visit a marriage counselor or start couple therapy. Αs a professional, they will know more to guide you based on your needs as a couple.
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